Why You Are Always Late on Monday: What You Need to Know

Today is Monday, and we all know that one colleague who is always late for work. But if you think about it, people don’t usually get mad if you’re just five minutes late. In Kenya, you’re considered late when people get annoyed and start asking where you are. I’ll explain why this is at the end, so keep reading.

So why do people get so upset when you’re late?

For one, being late to a formal or important event like a wedding, funeral, or civic occasion shows a lack of respect and consideration for the people who invited you. It’s even worse if they think they are your social or hierarchical superiors. Unless you have an excellent excuse, preferably something beyond your control (like a herd of elephants crossing the road), being late sends the message, “My time is more valuable than yours.” It might even imply, “You’re lucky I showed up at all.”

Interestingly, being late also undermines the person who is late. This is how it brings you out: you are dumb for having set realistic goals and being unable to manage your schedule or estimate travel time accurately.

But honestly, we’ve all wondered why we are late. I’ve been there and couldn’t figure it out until I did. Let me help you out of this rut.

Maybe your lateness is a form of aggression. Many angry people who seem calm and courteous might express their anger passively by resisting others’ expectations. Passive-aggressive behavior includes creating doubt and confusion, forgetting or omitting significant facts, withdrawing usual behaviors like making tea, cooking, cleaning, or having sex, shifting blame, and, of course, being late—often unpredictably. This covert aggression avoids the emotional and social costs of overt aggression but prevents underlying issues from being resolved, causing upset and resentment in others.

Another reason for lateness could be self-deception. As we’ve seen, being late, especially repeatedly, sends the message, “I am more important than you.” Often, this isn’t true. A person might be late because they feel inferior or unimportant, using lateness to impose themselves, attract attention, and control proceedings. You might notice that some people who are habitually late make a scene about it: apologizing profusely, introducing themselves to everyone, moving furniture, asking for a clean glass, and so on. Such behavior often includes passive aggression.

Similarly, being late could be a form of resistance, showing disapproval of the meeting or resentment about its likely outcome. In psychotherapy, a patient might show resistance by being late, changing the topic, blanking out, falling asleep, or missing appointments. Such behavior suggests the patient is close to recalling repressed material but is fearful of the consequences.

Whenever you’re late, ask yourself, “Why exactly am I late?” Even if it’s because you’re too busy, why are you too busy? Often, we keep ourselves busy to avoid our deepest thoughts and feelings, which is counterproductive in the short, medium, and long term. This is another reason for being late: to avoid being alone with ourselves (thank God for smartphones).

Finally, why aren’t we ashamed of being five minutes late? Here’s why.

We borrowed this from the Brits. When railways emerged in the 19th century, towns in Great Britain had to sync their clocks with London Time, known as Greenwich Mean Time (GMT). Some towns resisted this change, but Oxford held out, and for a while, the big clock on Tom Tower had two-minute hands. Even today, being five minutes late in Oxford can be humorously excused as ‘running on Oxford time.’ We now know this doesn’t apply to countries in Africa, right? Good. So, stop being late then.

Happy Monday.