5 Wild Things Only African Customers Say (And Yes, We’ve Heard ALL of Them 😭)

If you’ve worked in customer care anywhere on this continent, you already know:

Here are 5 wild (but very real) things African customers say that prove they’re built different:

1. “Acha hizo maneno mingi, fanya tu kitu!”

Translation: Skip the process, just fix it magically.
You’ve explained the procedure, verified their ID, opened the system, and the customer just wants you to snap your fingers like a tech wizard.

“Nashindwa hii system yenu ni ya kazi gani kama huwezi fanya haraka?”
Me: Sir, it’s a CRM not a miracle machine 😭

2. “Are you the only one working there today?”

This is usually asked after 4 minutes on hold, and the tone? Very judgmental.
They’re convinced the entire company is being run by you and your laptop from Gikambura.

Sometimes I want to say:

“Actually, yes. I also do security and make the tea.”

3. “Nimekupigia kwa safaricom na kwa hii line bado hujashika!”

They’ve called twice, emailed, sent a carrier pigeon, and now they’re texting you on WhatsApp using their cousin’s number.
If you don’t answer?

“Hii kampuni yenu iko na maringo.”
Relax, Janet. I was literally helping another customer 😩

4. “Why are you asking me questions instead of solving the problem?”

Because… I need to know what the problem is, Peter.

“Just open the line. I don’t know what happened, but it’s your fault.”
Sir. You bought bundles yesterday on a different line. On someone else’s phone. While on Airplane Mode. 😭

5. “Do you know who I am?”

The one line that unlocks rage in every agent.
Usually followed by:

“I’ll have your job by evening.”
Weh.
I’m still waiting for someone to reply:
“Do you know who I am? I’m the person who can delay your reversal for 7–10 business days 😌”

🤝 In Conclusion:

African customers are iconic.
They’ll stress you, confuse you, insult your whole bloodline, then still say:

“Asante. You’ve really helped me. God bless you.”

And somehow… we still come back the next day.

Which line made you laugh the hardest?
Or what’s the wildest thing a customer has ever told you?

Drop it in the comments or post with #TeleSkyCustomerQuotes — let’s laugh and heal together 😂