Rise Of The Soft Man.

4 min read

Let’s face it boys. We are tired. We are tired of being always strong and acting tough, unfeeling, and the ones who always hold the knife.

We are weary of holding back our words tears that should have otherwise left us better should we have let them out. I’m I wrong? Absolutely not.

 I think we should take another thing into this masculinity thing again. We have been acting all strong, cowering behind the “glorified toxic masculinity facade” where nobody wants to be a soft man.

 It is the soft man who will order fruity drinks instead of hard liquor. This is the one who will express himself and talk about how he is feeling.

A real man must have a body count as high as the Empire State, be braggadocios of his acts of violence, and have a disdain over everything that is not manly. It is a weak man who will allow a woman to flourish, become assertive, and take up space in the niche of her career and community. A real man will remind her who the man is- and stifle her growth. Being soft is for the wimpy men. Simps.

If you ask me though, if this is what masculinity entails, then all men are trash. 

 Clearly, this hasn’t worked for us. We suffer in silence.

We are smart enough not to do the things that we have been doing over again and expect better results-aren’t we?

So I suggest that we try going soft. Yeah, we haven’t done this before- these are uncharted waters, but let’s do it bit by bit (after all we are testing the waters) so that we abort the mission if going soft doesn’t work.

So what’s being a soft man?

 A soft man knows that he doesn’t have it all. It is knowing when to allow yourself to be vulnerable and even accept help. The soft man also knows that he can’t do it all and he needs support in certain situations. There’s nothing to be scared of about teamwork, cooperation, and assistance.

The Soft man can let his partner get tickets for the movie because he paid for dinner –he doesn’t always have to validate himself as a man because he pays for everything. The soft man can acknowledge his mental health issues and seek therapy or medication.

 You are also not less of a man because you can’t fix a flat tire or do household plumbing- that just means you lack the skill and can either learn how to do it or get someone to do it for you. You’re only human and you can’t do it all, and learning how to delegate tasks is a skill everyone should learn.

A soft man is assertive and firm (dominant) when the need arises. It’s a little hard to get one’s thoughts around this, right? Yeah, I relate. I guess it’s because we have associated being dominant with being domineering or sometimes, abusive. But no. There’s no need for this my guy to tell you how tough or confident he is. You can tell by his behavior and his actions. He moves in silence and his strength is an element of surprise.

 He appreciates all life and will do everything in his life to preserve it. But if there’s any conflict or any sign of unfairness, he will advocate for himself and others.

So yeah, go soft…in your heart, mind, and soul. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s more of an element of surprise. It’s a refreshing addition. It’s speaking softly while you carry a big stick. And a welcome departure from toxic masculinity. Believe me, there’s no better time than now to be a man. Especially for the Soft man. He’s here to stay but that doesn’t mean he can’t be a badass either.

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